Summer styles are finally here
This year, our new summer collection will shelter you from the harsh elements of a world that doesn't care if you live or die.
We built our business on great customer service
At the beginning at least, but then we realized we could make a lot more money if we kinda stopped caring about that. Our new strategy is to write a bunch of things that look really good in the headlines, then clarify in the small print but hope people don't actually read it.
Free shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
10-year warranty
If it breaks in the first 10 years we'll replace it. After that you're on your own though.
Exchanges
If you don't like it, trade it to one of your friends for something of theirs. Don't send it here though.